Those Days Are Gone
by TheCrimsonLlama
Summary: To whoever reads this, the Scouting Legion and I are all long gone. You probably won't find us for years. If we do come back, our numbers will have significantly decreased. If I happen to be one of those to die for humanity, I'll leave you with these papers. Once my death is confirmed, share this story to everyone who will listen.
1. Prologue

Those Days Are Gone

Prologue

I can't honestly say I've had a life that anyone would envy. Though, if they did envy it, they ought to see a doctor. Something has to be wrong with their head. There have been plenty of people who've asked me about it in what I can only guess is some sort of fit of curiosity. Sadly for them, they would always leave disappointed. I don't talk about those things. I don't like to. In all honesty, the only two people who truly know about my past before the military are Hanji and Erwin. Granted, those are the only two people I completely trust.

To whoever reads this, the Scouting Legion and I are all long gone. You probably won't find us for years. If we do come back, our numbers will have significantly decreased. If I happen to be one of those to die for humanity, I'll leave you with these papers. Once my death is confirmed, share this story to everyone who will listen. Make it into a book, if you wish. Just make sure it's heard.

Like I previously said, I don't exactly trust too many people, so you really ought to be honored that I'm writing this down at all. You ought to be honored I'm even letting you read this, whoever you are.

I'd say it's best to start at the beginning, but then again, who can even remember their own birth? The answer to that question, dear reading, is fucking no one. We only know what it was like from the stories our parents and relatives tell us about as we grow up. I suppose that's normal, though, seeing as mothers and relatives will often bring it up on their child's birthday.

So, all I can say about my own birth was that it wasn't anything special or glorious. There was no shining light surrounding me when I was born, nor was there a heavenly light coming out of my mother as I was born. I'm not the damn chosen one. I'm anything but the chosen one.

I was born in the house I was raised in. It was a small, wooden little thing that fit right into the town. Everyone in that town were poor and hardly had enough food to feed themselves, though for some reason, they all still thought it would be a good idea to have children. Seems irrational to me, but oh well. Our tiny little town was poor and the people in it were even poorer.

There were two types of people in that town. There were the people who, though they had little to nothing and their big toe stuck out one of their winter boots, were still perfectly happy with what they did have. Then there were the people, mainly teenagers, who hated their lives so much that they'd thrown their futures out the window and started living day by day. They were the thugs your parents warned you about. I'm proud to say I was only really like that for a couple of years of my life.

Either way, I'd better cut the crap and get on with it. Have fun reading about the not-so-great life of Lance Corporal Levi.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Like I previously stated, my birth was nothing glorious or wonderful. From what I'm told, I was born in my parents' bed with but one midwife helping out as it poured rain and stormed on outside the thin window. They named me Levi Blaise Chevalier and that was that.

From what I was told, I was a normal child throughout my infancy. Like every other baby, I'd stick seemingly random objects in my mouth and cry when a parent took it out. The only thing exceptional about me as a baby was the fact that I started toddling earlier than all the other kids by about a month. Which really isn't all that big of a deal.

Thankfully, my childhood was more interesting than that, otherwise you would be bored to tears, reader. When I was about four years old, my father received word that if he joined the recon corps, the government would supply our family with the food and money we so desperately needed. So, he did what any other responsible father and husband would do and joined. I remember being so proud that I was able to say my father was a soldier.

I went to school until I was about thirteen years old and dropped out to join the military, but I'll get to that later. The school I went to wasn't anything special. It was just a small, dingy, stuffy, little hellhole of a building where they taught you the basics. I was taught to read, write, and basic arithmetic.

I've never been all that sociable of a person, so I didn't really have too many friends in school. I had some, though, so I wasn't lonely as a child. After school, we would go home and do our homework before helping our mothers with dinner. After dinner, we'd play out in the streets until the sunset, signaling for us to go back to our homes for bed. Life was simple and easy. There were the poor, normal people, and then there were the merchants with their kids. The merchant children played with each other while we poor kids played with other poor kids. We had a nice, easy status quo set up and everyone seemed perfectly happy with that.

When I was about nine years old, though, my mother and I hit a few rough spots where it got difficult to get food as the farms were having trouble, and so was the government. Being the only man in the house, I felt it was my duty to help support my mother. So, being a dumb kid who was still in school and couldn't get a job, I did the one thing I could do-I started stealing food to put on our table, lying to my mother that a kind merchant gave me the money or I found a bill on the ground. For a nine year old, though, I was good at cleaning up after myself when I stole something.

It didn't take me too long to get caught, though it was by another kid who was stealing as well. We soon became friends and would steal things other than food. We taught ourselves to pickpocket and steal things like silverware from merchant houses at night. We told ourselves it was justified, as they were rich pigs and we were warriors who fought for our next meal.

It didn't take long for me to get noticed in the underworld of our little town. Sometimes, it would be in bad ways and I'd have to steal at night so my mother wouldn't see me come back home with a split lip or black eye. After a while, I realized I ought to protect myself from my attackers. So, I found with a lead pipe and would take it with me when I went out at night. It eventually got to the point that people who didn't know the truth about me would know me as Levi Chevalier, the boy who never stepped out of line. Though, everyone who did know me from the underworld knew I had become a thug. I let my hair grow out so that it fell to my shoulders.

When I was twelve years old, a little girl found me beating an older boy half to death with my pipe. I remember that day clearly. She tugged at my shirt, pulling me away from the other boy, catching me by surprise and making me drop the pipe while the other boy scrambled to run away.

"What'd you do that for, little bitch? He got away! I was about to finish him!" I yelled at her, my mind clouded with anger to register that I was yelling at an innocent little girl at all.

Of course, she started to cry, but never ran away from me. To this day, I still don't understand why she didn't run away.

"You were hurting him. Don't you know hurting people is bad?" She just answered, looking up at me with a small smile before taking my hand and leading me out of the alleyway. "You're silly, mister. "

I said nothing to her, still in awe of the little girl, who'd just started to talk to me as if we were siblings and had known each other for years. "What are you even doing awake at this hour, little kid?" I finally asked.

"I couldn't sleep, so I started to wander around in the area close to my house. I'm Skye, by the way, so don't call me 'little kid'." She replied to me with a smile, holding my hand still as she looked up at me. "You're a pretty angry little boy, aren't you? What's your name?"

"It's Levi. And I'm not a little boy!" I replied to her with a huff, though starting to cool down and soften slightly towards her. "I'm twelve years old!"

She looked up at me, confused. "Well, then you're kinda short, Levi. But, that's okay. Mama says short people are automatically adorable."

I remember bristling at being called adorable. The little girl took me back to my house, never once telling my mother where she'd found me when she asked. She merely said she found me wandering around alone.

Skye would often show up at our door after that and ask to see me and play with me. Because of her, I slowly and surely began to spend less time out at night. I went a bit easier on the people I was beating.

One day about a year later, we were playing happily when she showed me a secret little door in the wall that lead to the Outside World. I'd never once thought about leaving the safety of the wall, having only heard stories of the Titans. I wasn't too sure if I even believed them. So, we figured if we didn't wander too far, we'd be fine. With that, we left the wall and began to play in the fields outside the wall, giggling and laughing all the while.

It was getting to be noon when we started to hear loud thumps coming towards us.

"I bet it's a Titan!" she joked with a giggle, waving her fingers as if casting a dark spell or something. "You're not scared, are you?"

"N-No! Hell no!" I replied, shaking my head defensively. "Everyone knows that's just a story parents make up to make sure you don't leave the wall."

We giggled a bit at that as I tried to cover up how much I was trembling out of fear. We played for a bit more until the thumping came even closer and a horrible roar tore through the air, making my ears ring. I looked up to see a large humanoid figure looking down at us. The thing looked like a giant nude man, save for the fact that it didn't have anything between its legs. We shrieked and began to scramble for the secret door to get to the safety of our wall. I looked up when I felt her hand being pulled from mine. I shrieked loudly with fear when I saw the Titan lift her into the air in its massive hand and to its mouth, biting her in half in front of my eyes. I scrambled for the door after feeling a splash of her warm blood hit my face.

I got inside safely, tears of fear and sadness falling down my face as I ran through the town, practically running into the leg of a horse, looking up to find myself face to bloody face with a member of the Survey Corps.

"What's wrong, kid? You look like you've seen a ghost. Or, better yet, my mother in law." He said with a laugh, hopping down from his horse to get a better look at me.

"Titan….A Titan just ate my friend…." I replied to him breathlessly. He frowned a bit and nodded, pulling out a handkerchief.

"Here, wipe the blood off you're face. You're filthy." He said softly to me, and I obeyed. "You know, if you want, we're recruiting trainees. You're kinda small, but I can see it in your eyes. You've got the heart of a soldier."

I looked up at him and nodded, taking his words to mind. Though I had wiped the blood off my face, I still felt filthy, making a mental note to bathe when I got home. "I'll talk to my mother, but I think I'll take you up on that." I replied before handing the handkerchief and walking away.

When I got back to my home, I promptly took a bath. I was amazed that I had never noticed how filthy the home was, and began to clean it diligently. My mother watched in awe, a small smile on her face.

"Mother, I think I'm going to sign up for the military." I said to her at dinner as I drank my soup from the bowl.

She looked up at me in awe before smiling a bit and sighing. "I knew you would say that to me one day. You have your father's spirit. All right, darling. You can join the military. Just be sure to write home to me." She said after a bit of thinking.

I nodded and smiled to her before moving to go to bed. It was the first time in years that I hadn't left my room or the house for the entire night. I just slept soundly there until morning, when I dressed myself, ate, got clean, and left to sign up for the military.

There was already a line when I got there, so I joined it, standing behind a taller dirty blonde boy. He turned around to me and smiled kindly. "Hi! I'm Erwin Smith." He said to me, holding out his hand. I looked down at it and shook it politely.

"Levi Chevalier." I replied plainly to him.

"Nice to meet you, Levi." He said to me, his smile never fading as we waited together in the growing line of young boys and girls.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Erwin and I waited in line patiently as it moved slowly. He smiled to me and chatted away about how proud his father was that he was going to be a soldier and how, though everyone knew it was dangerous, he wanted to join the Survey Corps. The conversation was mostly one-sided, though, as I'd learned not to trust people right away. Even though the blonde seemed nice enough, how did I know he wouldn't turn on me when we started training?

We finally got to the front and I watched as Erwin signed his name on the paper and stepped over to the side where his measurements were taken and, according to them, he was given a uniform. When I stepped up, though, the man at the recruiting table just gave me an odd look as I signed my name.

"Sorry, kid, but you're gonna have to wait a few years. We don't take anyone under thirteen, see." The man said to me gently.

"I am thirteen." I replied, looking up at him and stepping to the side to be measured. The woman took my measurements and bit her lip before moving to whisper to a woman beside her, though she evidently wasn't too good at whispering, as I could hear everything she was saying.

"It looks like he's too small right now to fit into a small in the men's uniforms. Do you think we should try to put him in a women's?" she asked confusedly.

"He wouldn't fit into a women's. He doesn't have a woman's figure for that. We're just gonna have to custom make him one." The other replied, shaking her head. The first woman nodded and turned back to me, handing me a pair of brown cotton pants and a white shirt.

"Honey, we're going to have to custom make your uniform, but you can wear this until it's ready." She said to me before pointing me over to where all the other boys were getting changed.

I moved over to stand next to Erwin, changing beside him. He immediately smiled at me and started chatting away happily once again, going on about how they really ought to have smaller sizes for people like me, as he was sure I couldn't be the shortest one there, even if I had yet to hit the growth spurts of puberty and was just over four feet tall.

The clothes I had been given were the smallest they'd had, and were still rather baggy on me. I ended up having to roll up the legs of my pants and tying them tightly around my thin waist. The shirt was a bit better, but still loose. The only thing that set me apart from the poor boys in the street that wore hand-me-downs was the large emblem on my back with the infamous shield and crossing swords.

"If it helps, they look good on you." Erwin offered as I leaned on him, pulling on the only things that fit me, the boots. "And don't worry about your height. I'm sure you'll shoot straight up when you hit puberty. You'll get stronger, too. We all will."

I nodded to him and joined the rest of the new recruits with the blonde, letting him help me up into the wagon by lifting me by the waist. I sat down on the bench and he ended up sitting beside me. We chatted together contently as we waited for everything to be ready. When it all was, the wagon started moving, carrying us all off to the training grounds.

Once we got past the first couple weeks and got to know each other a bit more, the five years of training wasn't all that bad. When it came time to start working with the 3D Maneuver Gear, though, I was told I'd have to cut my hair, which had then grown out to my chest. So, that night, Erwin took a knife from the kitchen and sat me down on the porch outside our cabin, cutting my hair short. He let it fall just to my ears, giving me bangs as well.

"Cat you cut mine a bit, too? It's getting kinda shaggy." He replied, handing me the knife. I nodded and moved to obediently cut his hair, amazed that he trusted me enough to give me a knife.

"Hey, what are you guys doing?" I heard a voice call to us.

"It's called 'cutting hair', Zoe." I replied to her easily, not bothering to look over at the brunette girl with the glasses.

"Well, that's obvious. Oh well. You look less like a thug now, Levi." She replied, walking up to us as I continued cutting Erwin's hair carefully. "You look pretty good."

I looked over at her and nodded to her before finishing with Erwin's hair. "There, you're done." I said to him, giving him the knife back.

He took the knife and smiled to me before we started walking back to the kitchen to return the knife. We ended up putting it back quietly, trying to get in and out without being caught.

"You three! What do you think you're doing?" We heard a voice yell at us. We whirled around and saluted the commander. Though, my salute was rather odd as I still held the knife in the fist I'd placed over my heart.

He walked up to us and took the knife from my hand, examining me. "Well, cadet Chevalier, what were you three up to?"

"We were cutting each other's hair, sir." I replied to him promptly as he looked over my now shorter hair. He seemed to think about it for a bit before huffing into my face. It was then that I realized his breath reeked of alcohol. He then grabbed me by the hair, forcing my head back to look at him, pulling rather forcefully.

"Don't get cheeky, boy," He slurred. "I won't hesitate to beat you so hard you'll be crying out for Mommy."

He then dropped me back down to the ground and kicked me hard in the gut to send me falling backwards to the hard floor.

"You brats get back to your cabins now. Lights out is in five minutes." He said gruffly before walking away. Erwin helped me to my feet and we obediently walked back to our cabins for the night, changing out of the day's clothes and sleeping in our underwear.

The rest of training wasn't that bad. Things got easier as we went along and we matured there in the camp. I ended up graduating in the top ten of our division, along with Erwin and Hanji. Despite what we were told, we all chose to join the Scouting Legion along with a girl named Petra and a few others, who I didn't know too well.

It wasn't until we were riding out to the headquarters that I started getting a bit nervous, as I'd never even killed a real titan before.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Now, I know I'm getting off course on the whole 'life story' thing, but just bear with me. Honestly, you don't really get much of a choice, so you get to deal with it.

I guess way before I was even dreamt of the Scouting Legion (or Survey Corps, or Recon Corps, whatever the hell you want to call it) was at least slightly effective. I remember learning rather quickly that the corps was definitely not for the weak, as I'd seen people older than I as well as some others who'd chosen to join the corps after graduation dying around me at our first expedition outside the walls. I saw so many people die, and for some reason I was affected by it. I barely knew these people who were losing their lives all around me. After a bit, we were forced to go back inside the walls so we wouldn't all be slaughtered by those damned titans.

The first time we returned from a rather ineffective expedition, all of us having looks on our faces that clearly showed that we'd seen Hell that day, I couldn't help but focus on the whispers of the adults who lined the streets as we rode back through Wall Maria and into the small town. I hated how they could just stand there and sneer at us. It pissed me off so much that I distinctly remember abandoning all my discipline for a bit and turning to yell angrily at one of the particularly rude ones.

I can't really remember what I'd said, but I do remember there was a fair amount of profanity mixed into it. I remember how all the other whispering and noise seemed to quiet when I yelled at the man. I remember making eye contact with a little boy. I knew I wasn't that much older than him, but he seemed like such a child compared to me. The boy had a look of pure wonder when I started yelling at the man. Then he grinned widely at me, as if he thought of me as some sort of hero for sticking up for the corps.

But, I guess the corps hadn't always been so hated. It was probably back in the early days of it, though, back when there wasn't much to be angry about. People passed the ineffectiveness off by saying how the corps was just 'new' and 'inexperienced'. Obviously, though, we don't get that excuse anymore, seeing as it's been about a hundred years now and the only victory humanity's had over the titans was when Jaeger went batshit crazy, turned titan, put the boulder in place, and almost killed the humans he was supposed to be allied with. Not in that particular order, though.

But anyways, it must have been a really long time ago when adults would actually respect the men and women in the corps. I think, back then, though, the military was just seen as humanity's attempt of standing up for itself and fighting back against the titans. We didn't know anything about the titans back then, though, so jack shit got done.

Thankfully, we learned, though. Soon enough, we found out how to kill them. Someone came up with the idea for the Three Dimensional Maneuver Gear and the gas that would propel people through the air. No doubt it was confusing and hard to get the hang of in the start. Then they made the impressively sharp blades and replacement blades that were stored away in the surprisingly lightweight boxes strapped to the people's thighs. After about thirty years, though, when the most that happened were the innovations and large masses of people being slaughtered nonetheless, the civilians started to see us as nothing more than a waste of taxes. I guess, that's how the Survey Corps fell from its glory.

I'm a thirty three year old man now, and it still amazes me how children are always so happy to see us coming back into or leaving the wall. It's like they're oblivious to all the pain and suffering we got through for them. Or, perhaps they know full well what we do for the prospect of their eventual freedom from the walls and they're just more grateful than their parents are.

After I'd yelled at that man, we stopped at a supply headquarters and changed out our emptied gas cans for full ones and traded out any broken blades. I remember a little boy and girl running up to me while I sat outside and Erwin bandaged a rather large gash on my leg. They looked up at me with their happy smiles and just stood there for a bit.

The last time I'd ever had to attend to a kid younger than me had been the day Skye had been eaten. So, I had no idea what the hell I was supposed to do. I looked over at Erwin, and he just gave a gentle nudge on the knee as he bandaged me up, silently telling me to say something.

"What are you kids doing at a military headquarters? Don't you know you can get hurt here?" I asked them after a bit.

"You're the man who yelled at that mean guy! That was so cool!" the little boy gushed to me with the big, goofy grin of his.

"I'm Lotte! This is my big brother Erick, and Mother's over there with our baby brother, Marco." The little girl said to me with a grin, before pointing to a woman on the other side of the street holding a small bundle. I could see of the baby was its mess of dark brown hair and I could hear its happy giggle from where I sat.

"What's your name, mister? Or can we call Shortie McShouty?" The boy asked with a smile and a giggle when he earned a scowl from me. Erwin nudged me again to silently tell me not to be too harsh on the kids.

"Firstly, it's nice to meet you Lotte and Erick. Secondly, the next person to call me Shortie McShouty gets smacked," I reply to them with a soft sigh. "My name is Levi."

"That's a pretty name." Lotte mused with a small smile, having giggled with her brother at my threat about hitting them if they called me Shortie McShouty. I honestly had no idea how they'd come up with that one.

Soon enough, their mother called them over to get them home for dinner and their baths.

"You're good with kids. In your own special way, that is." Erwin commented with a smile as he finished up bandaging me and helping me to put the long sock back on my foot before slipping the boot back on.

"Don't be an idiot. You're better with them than I am." I replied to him with a frown as he helped me back up to my feet and over to my horse as the rest of the corps seemed to be finishing up. He just smiled to me and lifted me up by the waist to let me swing a leg over the back of the horse and sit atop it. He then climbed up on his own and rode by my side all the way back to the headquarters.

After a few years of surviving and killing titans, we started to move up in rank. Well, at least, the level of respect we were given. I was about twenty-eight when they moved me up a rank or two to Lance Corporal. Around the same time, Erwin went on to become Commander. Soon enough, we were the ones in charge of the kids coming in.

I never actually thought it'd be that hard, but it definitely was. It still is. To see kids coming into the branch of the military that everyone knows only a few survive the first year in is astounding. The fact that a lot of them wouldn't live to see the next wave of inductees was horrible. Plus, they were still just kids, barely out of puberty, still with their squishy faces and cheeks.

To make it all the worse, they put their lives in your hands and all their faith in you, and you know that if they die, you're a shitty leader for not keeping them safe while getting the job done.

That's what I've had to live with on my shoulders everyday for the past six years. The only people I ever told were Erwin and Hanji because I just trust them the most. Let me tell you, reader, _it fucking hurts._


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

You know, it's really weird. As a little boy, I always wanted to get married and have kids of my own. I used to toddle about the house with a dishrag wrapped around a small bag of flour, pretending it was a baby, as it was the closest thing I could get to something like that. My mom had once told me that she had once asked my father if they could save up their money and buy me a ragdoll so I could use that instead of having to heave a bag of flour all over the place. But, he declined, stating that a boy like me would be better off playing with more masculine things. Though, they never were able to afford toys for me. So, I played with what I could find. Sometimes, on walks in the streets, I'd find some discarded marbles or jacks or toy soldiers.

One day, I found a little girl's discarded rag doll. I remember picking the thing up and noticing that one of its button eyes had gone missing. So, I took the thing home, hugging it tightly all the while. My mother was happy that I'd been able to find the toy I'd wanted for so long, even if it was in less-than-mint condition. I loved the thing dearly. My father obliged to letting me keep it when I asked him. Apparently, when I was a kid, I was too cute to say no to. Back then, my eyes were bigger and happier and my hair was longer, little curls sticking out randomly. But, he insisted that I learn self-defense, knowing full well I'd need to know that sort of thing with our position.

My father knew how people could be cruel and pig-headed. He knew how the higher-ups and the wealthy would try to step all over us because we were poorer and weaker than they were. He taught me to hold onto my pride and not to ever let anyone walk all over me just because we had to fight to get food on the table. He just taught me that we were warriors because of that.

When it came time for my father to enlist in the military, I still had the dream of wanting to one day be married and give my spouse and any kids we had a better life than I had. But, those dreams were dashed once everything started happening with the underground of the city. I ended up thinking that someone like me could never have someone love me enough to want to walk down the aisle to me and bind themselves to me in marriage. Only an idiot would marry a vulgar, disgusting, thug of a kid like me.

As of now, though, I'm having second thoughts about all that. I'm still young; at least I like to think so. If we annihilate all these damned titans soon, I might be able to get married and have all that. A life with a nice house, a spouse to love me no matter how flawed I am, kids running around making noise that I'd somehow find endearing. It seems like it'd be pretty nice to settle down. I guess I'm gonna have to get on that if I live through all this. I wonder if there would be anyone in the Survey Corps here who'd be interested in something like that. Probably not, though. People surround me, though I'm not sure what any of them think about me.

Oh well.

I'll worry about that later.

As for now, I'm tired and we've got a big day of expeditions and all that good shit tomorrow, so I'd better go to bed.

Goodnight, reader.

Thanks for putting up with reading all this.

Signed,

Levi Chevalier, Lance Corporal


End file.
